Once

Once there was
Once there will be

Once
there was
understanding
(Once there was belonging)

the Mother the Grandmother
sick poisoned exhausted.
Change healing transformation needed
Balance needed

So we went north & north
& further north
we left long ago
(along with the animals & plants)

A new haven eventually
(or at least that is what we heard)
where season existed still
II
there are fewer of us now
down to scraps & rags
dirty grey water
gruel-meal
rabbit squirrel bugs
marshrats
something to take
the dull thud away
move walk crawl
never ending
dragging what we have left
along behind us

fear pursuit anger hurt
(hunger there as a constant)
gnawing grating

we made our way out of city
out of pavementland
out of wreckage

scavenging what was left
by others before us

making our way north
over time over land
(the moon came & went
many times)
(I lost count)

travelling over
what was left of the seasons:

cold hot wet dry
fire rain rain fire

cold & colder (finally)
eventually hopefully
longingly

hope was our religion
our burden

belonging our calling
our wanting

belief hope
III
made it we did
I’m older now
sister to brothers younger

I’ve learnt much
survived fear & hurt & loss

Tears shed (Gran & Nan gone)

but I can creep up
to rabbit now
arrow in hand
–fur & meat
some but not enough (yet)
more rabbits more fish
more

Otenaw-home
river friends
belonging
hope
welcoming they’ve been
(cautious)
but still
we can call this home
they said
and I have